Just under three weeks into the season, the strongly opinionated faction on the Left has once again entangled the National Anthem in one of their ongoing controversies. They seem unable to comprehend that during a sporting event, only our country’s authentic, Congressionally-sanctioned National Anthem should take center stage.

Their inclination is to promote alternative songs that some people may consider as national anthems, which is deeply disrespectful to those who have served in the armed forces.

In response, NFL owners, through a unanimous vote, have firmly established that only one National Anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, will be played in their stadiums.

“There is no room for such division,” stated League Superintendent Joe Barron. “What we need is to focus on America and disregard anything else.”

However, ALLOD Sportsball Analyst Tara Newhole expressed skepticism about the rule, pointing out that many stadiums also play “God Bless America” as a warm-up song, often featuring special guest artists for significant games.

“That practice ends now,” declared Barron. “We must cease yielding to these perspectives and assert our dominance. USA! USA! USA!” Newhole suggested that Joe may have indulged in some high-quality scotch before making that statement.

Regardless, this marks the conclusion of the latest skirmish in the ongoing culture wars, with another point scored for Team “I hope it’s true.” God Bless America.