Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue actually wrote the marriage guidebook.

In their book, What Makes a Marriage Las?: 40 Celebrated Couples Share Their Secrets, the long-married couple discloses personal insights about their marriage.

Marlo reveals that, despite having been married to Phil for more than 40 years, she grew up with little interest in marriage.

In the book, the star expressed her previously gloomy perspective of the institution, saying, “Marriage is like a vacuum cleaner: you stick it to your ear, and it sucks out all your energy and ambition.”

Thomas frequently communicates her feelings, equating marriage to appeasing a prisoner. That is, until she met Donahue.

Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue met after Phil Donahue’s first marriage ended in divorce, and they are now lifelong friends.

Phil Donahue rose to national prominence with his show, “The Phil Donahue Show,” which was eventually renamed “Donahue.” For the first time, the program included audience involvement and lasted 29 years. Marlo Thomas was one of his show’s guests and radically changed the path of his life.

According to the book, the couple initially met in Chicago in 1977, with Phil bringing four children with him. His fifth child, a girl, lived elsewhere with his ex-wife and her mother.

Marlo and Phil dated for three years before marrying in front of a modest bridal party of 35 people in 1980.

The actress’s sudden change of heart surprised Marlo’s friends and family. A humorous anecdote regarding Marlo’s bridal shower is detailed in the couple’s book, when visitors hanged notes from the future bride that showed her previous beliefs on marriage.

Throughout the couple’s wedding, Marlo’s mother was the most startled, asking Donahue, “How did you get her to do this?”

Even strangers allegedly expressed surprise, among other emotions, at the celebrity social activist’s decision to settle down. A passenger on the couple’s trip to Greece for their honeymoon expressed displeasure to Marlo while Phil was in the lavatory, evidently disturbed that she had given up her prior independence.

In the book, Thomas is straightforward and confesses that this encounter created a seed of doubt. Was she now a hypocrite for marrying after spending so much of her life denouncing marriage? Had she let those who looked up to her as the embodiment of independence down?

Donahue and Thomas’ marriage works to this day, despite the regular ups and downs mentioned in the book while discussing their extended marriage. These challenges are cited as learning experiences that helped them improve their relationship.

Even when they were first married, the pair spent time apart as Phil recorded his program in Chicago and Marlo traveled for her own acting career.

When Thomas’ aunt said that the couple’s union was invalid since they weren’t really cohabiting, he gained a greater understanding of how various individuals interpret marriage. Despite their divorce, Thomas and Donahue were able to keep their marriage together. Marlo had children when she married, which was significant.

In a 2012 interview with AARP, Thomas reflected on what it was like to help Phil raise his children, stating she went into it knowing they already had a conventional mother and that would not be her job.

Instead, Marlo claims that in an attempt to replicate her own mother’s parenting, she began to treat Phil’s children like friends. She goes on to say that she feels closer to them today than she did at the start of the marriage.

Donahue observes that Thomas spent as much time as she could in the conversation getting to know his sons and attempting to understand the lads in the novel.

Phil and Marlo believe their long marriage is a result of their trust in one another as well as their tight bond with his children. Marlo goes on to say, “You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back.”

After more than 40 years of marriage, they still have more memories to make.

Phil goes on to suggest that for a marriage to last, both spouses must want it to. Marlo concurs, adding that she would never want to be anything other than married to her lover. Donohue, she claims, has assisted her in “every way possible.”