Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue practically wrote the marriage guidebook.

In their book, the long-married couple provides personal information about their marriage.

Marlo most intriguingly reveals that, despite having been married to Phil for almost 40 years, she grew up with little desire to be married.

In the book, the star revealed her previously gloomy perspective of the institution: “Marriage is like a vacuum cleaner: you stick it to your ear, and it sucks out all your energy and ambition.”

Thomas frequently communicates her feelings, likening marriage to being a prisoner that one must pacify. That is until she met Donahue.

After Phil Donahue’s first marriage ended in divorce, he met Marlo Thomas, and they have been lifelong friends.

Phil Donahue gained public recognition with his show, “The Phil Donahue Show,” later renamed “Donahue.” For the first time, the program allowed audience involvement and lasted 29 years. One of his show guests, Marlo Thomas, changed his life.

According to the book, the couple initially met in Chicago in 1977, and Phil brought four children with him. His fifth child, a daughter, lived somewhere with his ex-wife and mother.

Marlo and Phil dated for three years before marrying in 1980 in front of a modest wedding party of 35 people.

Unsurprisingly, the actress’ heart changes. In the couple’s book, there is a humorous story about Marlo’s bridal shower, when visitors hung notes from the future bride that showed her previous views on marriage.

According to the novel, Marlo’s mother was more startled than anybody else, asking Donahue, “How did you get her to do this?” throughout the couple’s wedding.

Even total strangers have allegedly expressed amazement, among other emotions, at the celebrity social activist’s decision to settle down. On the trip to Greece for their honeymoon, a passenger expressed unhappiness with Marlo while Phil was in the restroom, evidently disturbed that she had abandoned her prior independence.

In the book, Thomas is honest and says that this encounter planted the seed of uncertainty. Was she a hypocrite for marrying after spending so much of her life denouncing marriage? Had she let down those who looked up to her as the embodiment of independence?

Donahue and Thomas continue to make their marriage work today, despite the regular ups and downs they discuss in the book. They describe these challenges as learning experiences that helped them enhance their relationship.

Even early in their marriage, the pair separated as Phil filmed his program in Chicago and Marlo traveled for her acting career.

When Thomas’ aunt said that the couple’s union was invalid since they weren’t fully cohabiting, he saw how varied individuals interpret marriage. Thomas and Donahue were able to keep their marriage despite their separation. Importantly, Marlo had children after she married.

In a 2012 interview with AARP, Thomas reflected on what it was like to help Phil raise his children, stating she went in knowing they already had a conventional mother and that her goal would not be to replace her.

Instead, Marlo claims that to replicate her own mother’s parenting, she began treating Phil’s children more like friends. She goes on to say that she feels more connected to them today than she did when the marriage initially started.

Donahue observes that Thomas did spend as much time as she could throughout the discussion getting to know his sons and attempting to understand the lads in the novel.

Phil and Marlo credit their long marriage with their trust and closeness to their children. Marlo expands: “You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back.”

They still have more memories to make after being married for almost 40 years.

Phil goes on to suggest that for a marriage to last, both spouses must want it to. Marlo agrees with him, saying she would never want to be anything other than married to her partner. She claims that Donohue has helped her in “every way possible.”

Marriage is a lovely bond, made much more beautiful when two people truly commit to it.

This team can help us all learn and be motivated. We should all aim to have a relationship as rewarding as theirs!