Alec Baldwin will almost certainly spend five years in jail for involuntary manslaughter as a result of his disdain for human life on the set of “Rust. That begs the question, What happens to the film?

While some say it should be discarded as a horrible memory, others believe it should live on. The woman who died resolved a lawsuit with Baldwin, which provides her husband with an EP position and a large sum of money if the picture is done, and so on. One major change: Keanu Reeves will take over as the lead.

“Nobody wants Baldwin here anymore,” set designer Joe Barron explained, “but we want Halyna’s family to have at least some financial security. Art Tubolls, the casting director, stated that Keanu Reeves was the obvious option.

“Not only is he someone even the taters like, but he’s also the nicest guy in the world,” Tubolls explained. “All we had to do was mention her kid, and he had no choice. We don’t even pay him.”

“They wanted to pay me,” Reeves informed us through email, “but I refused. I told him to give it to the youngster, and then I added a million dollars of my own money as a bonus to compensate homeless individuals in the region. The effort will cost Reeves around $3 million and a year of his life. “It’s worth it just to make someone smile,” he explained.

If there were more people like him, we could come up with ideas like this all day. Keanu Reeves, may God bless you. And may God bless the United States.