He had no idea she existed, and she had never seen him, but she never gave up hope of finding him. A moving narrative on the importance of knowing and feeling one’s origins

Catherine Benoit-Schwartz discovered she was an adopted child when she was a teenager. She had a nice upbringing, growing up with loving parents and three younger brothers.

“I was about 14 years old when I began looking through family photos and wondering why I didn’t look like any of my relatives.” My parents, who are amazing people, did not dodge the question and told me straight out that they adopted me when I was a baby. Of course, I was curious about my biological parents.”

When adopting in the United States, parents are usually given a birth certificate on which they are listed rather than their actual father and mother. However, in the instance of Catherine, the name of the biological mother was given on the paperwork for some reason, while the column “father” was “Unknown.”

Catherine had an irrepressible yearning to visit her mother after she married for the first time at the age of 19 and was expecting a child.

It was 1982; there was no Internet, and she had to go through a stack of phone directories. She discovered her grandparents, but there was no reunion of relatives; they called her and informed her that her mother did not want to know her. That’s all.

The cold response discouraged the girls. But a few days later, her own aunt phoned, and I told her the account of her birth in complete secrecy (it was taboo to discuss Catherine in their family).

Catherine’s mother gave birth to her out of wedlock in 1963, which was a huge embarrassment for the devout family. Catherine’s mother had already broken up with the father of the unborn child by the time she discovered she was pregnant. The daughter was placed for adoption shortly after birth. “I was astounded by the maternal side’s coldness.” I grew up to be a very active and good-natured person, and clearly I did not succeed in my mother’s eyes. Perhaps my father resembles me more?”

Catherine questioned her aunt about her father’s name, but she only had a rough idea. I believe his name was Casey Vandenberg, and he worked at a nearby hospital before leaving. And she had no clue where she was.

Catherine sought her father meticulously for the following 30 years.

Her preoccupation with locating her father infected even her children. They combed through phone directories on a regular basis, and with the introduction of the Internet, they checked search engines for a variety of spellings of the name and surname.

Catherine discovered Family Tree DNA, a genealogy research service that allows users to search for ancestors using their DNA, in 2015. She sent DNA samples to the service and awaited the findings. Two months later, she got word that a cousin had been located in England. “My soul sank into my heels when I saw her surname was Vandenberg.”

When she inquired whether the Englishwoman knew a certain Casey Vandenberg, she got the response, “Yes, this is my uncle from the USA.”

Finally, at the age of 82, Casey Vandenberg was enjoying the calm life of a retiree in Florida when his niece from England reached him. “It was shocking news. I didn’t believe it at first, but then I recalled the girl I was dating half a century ago. When I informed my wife, who was 53 at the time, that I may have a daughter, she practically choked on her lunch. It was a pretty amusing scene.”

Catherine’s half-brothers and sisters

Catherine and Casey corresponded over Skype and eventually met in person. “It was a surprise for both of us, but we immediately felt a bond.” We had no communication problems, no reservations, and we instantly started to call each other “dad” and “daughter.”

“Now that we’ve found each other, we’re like children reaching for sweets.” I am overjoyed that I did not give up after all these years.”