The instructor responded, “I’ll give 2 dollars to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived.”

An Irish lad raised his hand and announced, “It was St. Patrick.” The teacher remarked, “Sorry, Sean, that’s not correct.”

Then a French lad raised his hand and announced, “It was Napoleon.” The teacher said, “I’m sorry, Pierre, that’s not right either.”

Finally, a Jewish youngster raised his hand and announced, “It was Jesus Christ.” The instructor responded, “That’s absolutely right, Maurice; come up here, and I’ll give you 2 dollars.”

As the instructor handed Maurice his money, she commented, “You know, Maurice, you being Jewish, I was astonished you said Jesus Christ.”

Maurice said, “Yes.” In my heart, I knew it was Moses, but business is business.”

The woman was quite wealthy, and the man was impoverished but honest.

She liked him only as a friend, and he was aware of this limitation.

He had been a little more gentle than normal that night. “You are wealthy,” he tried.

“Yes,” she said candidly, “I am worth 1.25 million dollars.”

“And I’m poor,” he responded. “Will you marry me?”

“No.”

“I thought you would say no.”

“Then why did you ask me?”

“Oh, I was just curious to understand how a man feels after losing 1.25 million dollars.”

Stanley hunts for a new desk for his workplace and finds a beautiful one in an antique shop.

He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it costs.

“That desk is going for $5000,” says the merchant.

“$5,000 for an old desk?” Stanley shouts, “That is outrageous!”

“Ah,” replies the shopkeeper, “but this is a magical desk.” He turns to the desk and inquires, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?”

The desk taps one of its legs against the floor four times. The shopkeeper opens his pocket, and, sure enough, there are four dollar coins.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool,” Stan remarks. “Alright, desk, how much money does my wife have in her bank account?”

At this juncture, the desk erupts into a frenzy, vigorously pounding its four legs for a continuous duration of nearly five minutes.

“Darn, where did she get all THAT from?” Stanley is curious.

The legs of the desk move apart, and the drawers drop down.