A lady came to Reddit to find out if she was in the wrong after an incident occurred while she was attending a friend’s wedding.
The original poster (OP) recounted her experience on Reddit’s r/AmITheA—— thread, explaining how she got into a fight with her longest best friend about the events of her bachelorette party.
OP began her message by emphasizing that she chose to wear a headscarf because she is a Muslim woman.
“I cover my hair as well as the majority of my body.” I don’t judge others or attempt to impose my views. I can’t judge others because I’m not perfect “The path is different for everyone.
The 23-year-old went with friends to a women-only bachelorette celebration for a buddy she’s known “since kindergarten.”
“She isn’t religious, but she respects my beliefs, and she was even willing to allow me to wear a more modest style of abaya as her maid of honor,” she writes. “This is to say, Maya knows the hijab and what it means to me, or so I believed.”
OP writes that amid the evening’s celebrations, just before everyone went to bed, she removed her hijab. The moment passed uneventfully, and the women “watched a movie, took photos and videos, and generally had a good time.”
“I had no issues with the images being taken because my friends are typically courteous and do not publish them anywhere. “It just stays in our group chat,” she says. “We went to bed, and the next day everything was well. We cleaned up, and I went home, eventually checking my phone.”
When OP went to Instagram, she noticed that Maya’s public Instagram account had tagged her in photos, some of which did not feature her headscarf.
“I quickly messaged Maya, asking her to take it down before anyone else saw it, as I couldn’t control whether or not some guy was going to see her post, and she refused, saying that there were no other good photos of her,” says the author.
“I urged her to simply crop me out or draw over my hair and neck, but she claimed it would look bad and that I was exaggerating. I insisted I didn’t, and she understood that I couldn’t reveal my hair to anyone,” she says.
“Instead of replying to me, she went to the group chat to seek ‘advice.’ Half of them agreed that she shouldn’t have uploaded a photo of me without my hijab, while a few others told me I was exaggerating and that no one cared but me.”
Those who agreed with the OP petitioned Maya to remove the photographs. Though she first stayed firm, an update shows that her fiancé’s entry into the conversation altered her mind.
“He’s a Christian, but according to what I gather, his mother wears veils, and he understands the hijab regulations quite well. He felt awful, and I had to convince him that it wasn’t his fault. I also thanked him for speaking with Maya on my behalf. He inquired as to how this scenario would influence our friendship, to which I replied that I was unsure.
Though the OP claims she has already forgiven the bride, several commentators expressed strong opinions about the incident and the attitude they believe she should have taken.
“She is not your friend. If a buddy requested me to remove a photo with them in it for ANY reason, I’d do it before the end of the day. “My friends can completely trust me that I will not put them in a situation that makes them uncomfortable,” one respondent stated.
“But at this point, you’ve lost control.” You can ask her to remove the photo, but you have no control over it. Learn from this, and never trust her again. You cannot let your guard down around everyone.”
Another individual said, “I am a hijabi who serves as MOH for one of my best non-Muslim friends. I also went on a bachelorette vacation, and there were several candid photos of me not wearing a hijab. I forwarded your initial post to her, and she was outraged on your behalf.
The commenter went on to say, “I can’t imagine what I would do if she did what your friend did.” It was outrageously improper for her to post those images, and it was simply horrifying that she did not immediately remove them upon your request. “You’re more forgiving than I.”