“No, mommy, no!” Johnny threw himself on the floor and began screaming. Marla Evans sighed. Not again! She looked at her watch. If he threw a full-fledged tantrum, she’d be late again.

She looked at her three-year-old, exasperated. Johnny has been going to daycare for two years and always enjoyed it. For the last week, he’d been making a commotion, imploring Marla not to take him.

She had consulted with her doctors, who had informed her that children frequently experienced the ‘terrible threes.’ “Stop it!” Marla heard herself scream, and she saw terror in her son’s eyes. Something was not right.

Marla got down on the floor beside Johnny and enticed him into her lap. He wept and pressed his small face on hers. Marla thought this was more than just a tantrum, but what could go wrong?

“Honey,” Marla said softly. “I apologize.” “Mommy did not mean to snap.” She hugged him until he stopped weeping, then softly said, “Why don’t you like daycare anymore?”

Setting and respecting limits is essential while raising a child.
Johnny shook in her embrace, whispering, “I don’t like!”

“But why, sweetie?” Marla asked. “Are the other kids mean?” But Johnny would not respond. Marla sighed. “Baby, I must leave for work. However, I assure you that I will arrive at daycare early today. Is that okay?”

Johnny sat upright on her lap. “No lunch?” He gazed up at her nervously. “No lunch, Mommy?”

Lunch? The anxious mother scowled. What was happening to her son?

Marla sent Johnny off after promising to get him before noon. He entered the daycare softly but gave Marla an imploring look that left her sad.

She went to work and requested her employer give her the afternoon off to deal with a personal matter. Fortunately, her manager, who is also a mother, understood her request.

Marla was keen to figure out why Johnny was reluctant to go to daycare. She made the decision to visit Johnny at lunchtime instead of earlier, as she had previously promised.

Johnny’s daycare did not allow parents to enter the children’s playrooms or dining area, but each door to the facility featured a wide, transparent glass window. Hopefully, Marla could see what was going on.

When she arrived, the receptionist informed her that the children were eating lunch. Marla approached the dining room and glanced in. All the children were eating at their respective tables.

Either a teacher or an assistant supervised each table. Marla instantly noticed Johnny. Marla didn’t recognize the lady seated next to him.

As Marla watched, the lady grabbed Johnny’s spoon, scooped up some mashed potatoes, and pushed it to his lips. “Eat!” she exclaimed. Johnny shook his head furiously, his jaws firmly closed, and tears streamed down his face.

“Open your mouth and eat!” the mother said fiercely. Johnny was visibly disturbed. The woman said, “You are going to sit here until you clear your plate!”

Marla noticed a little bit of mince, mash, and veggies on Johnny’s plate and recognized her kid. Johnny wasn’t a huge eater, so she never pushed it when he said he’d eaten enough.

Johnny opened his lips in protest, and the teacher rapidly forced the spoon in. Marla saw her kid choke and spit. She had enough! She opened the door and stormed in.

“Get away from my son!” she said.

The woman looked up, her jaw hanging wide. “We don’t allow parents in the dining room!” she sobbed.

“Then they should be,” Marla responded, controlling her rage. Can’t you sense that Johnny has reached his limit? He is a healthy youngster, although he does not eat much. As an educator, you should understand how stressful force-feeding a kid can be.

“Forcing someone to wipe up their plate is an outmoded idea. Understand the prevalence and causes of childhood obesity and eating problems.

“One of them is expressing concerns about food!” My little child is a busy youngster, so you should respect his wishes and not force him to eat if he thinks he’s had enough.

“It’s terrible to shove food into a child’s mouth like that! You should definitely know better. These children are not manipulable puppets!

“They are individuals with their own desires and determination.” Not respecting their limits teaches kids they don’t deserve respect. I don’t think that’s the message you want to convey!”

The instructor blushed crimson red and rose to her feet. “I never…” she said.

“That’s unfortunate,” Marla replied crisply. “I will fire you if this happens again!” “I refuse to subject my son to abuse at daycare!”

Marla stepped up to Johnny and gently cleaned his mouth. “Come on, honey,” she said gently. “Mommy promised you a treat this afternoon!”

Marla had a lengthy conversation with Johnny, and there was no tantrum the following morning. Over the next two weeks, she regularly visited the daycare around lunchtime to monitor the situation.

The teacher never pushed Johnny to eat again, and he regained his sense of humor and excitement.

What can we glean from this story?

Children’s boundaries should be respected. The instructor taught Johnny that adults can force their will on children, even if it’s against their best interests.

Raising a child entails defining and respecting limits, both theirs and ours. A youngster who does not respect their limits is insecure and has low self-esteem.