Losing a child is an unparalleled pain, and in those moments of unimaginable grief, the last thing grieving mothers need to hear is false reassurances that everything will be okay, because the truth is, it never truly is, and the sorrow persists even after much time has passed.
Rachel Whalen experienced the devastating loss of her stillborn baby, and it shattered her world. Yet, this courageous mother found the strength to address one of the most sensitive topics we often shy away from.
She recounts how she navigated through her ordeal with the invaluable support of the nurses at the hospital where she delivered her baby. These compassionate caregivers provided Rachel with a lifeline during the darkest days she faced.
Merely offering condolences with “I am sorry for your loss” falls short.
What truly aids grieving parents in such moments is continuous care and support. The nurses’ actions for Rachel were precisely that – each small act of kindness compounded into something greater than the sum of its parts. She expressed her profound gratitude to them through a heartfelt letter posted on her Facebook page:
“To the nurses, Thank you for saving me. Your expertise and compassion not only saved me from following my daughter into death but also guided me back to life. It was your humanity that helped me find the will to live again; you gave me the ability to envision a future beyond grief. I owe you my deepest gratitude and love. Thank you to the nurses who ensured my husband’s comfort during his stay in my hospital room, and for the small gestures like allowing him to sneak popsicles from the freezer. You recognized his need for care during this trying time.”
Rachel emphasizes that while doctors focus on keeping patients physically alive, nurses play an even more crucial role – sustaining their spirits and preventing them from succumbing to despair. In cases like Rachel’s, nurses understand that fathers also endure the same anguish.
The nurses acted as Rachel’s guides and companions, leading her to precisely where she needed to be to save her own life.
“Thank you to the nurse who accompanied me when I was rushed to the ICU from Labor & Delivery. Your advocacy during my silence, as I fought for my life, was invaluable. I might not have lived to see my daughter without your presence. Thank you to the nurse who taught me how to use ice packs in my bra to suppress my milk after my daughter’s stillbirth. Your comforting embrace, despite not lessening the heaviness in my breasts, brought a glimmer of light into my darkness. Thank you to the ICU nurse who helped me freshen up after my daughter’s passing. Your gentle touch as you brushed my hair was a gesture of kindness.”
During the tumultuous period when one feels their world crumbling, nurses ensure they keep moving forward. Their acts of kindness and willingness to engage with a mother about her departed child, even mentioning the child’s name, acknowledge that the little soul lives on in the parents’ hearts.
“Thank you to the nurse who sat by my bedside and encouraged me to share about Dorothy. Your willingness to acknowledge her existence, despite her absence, meant the world to me. I will always remember how you leaned in, as if we were old friends, and asked, ‘Do you want to tell me about her?’ Thank you to the nurse who dressed my baby and captured her image. Your attention to detail, ensuring her eyes were visible and her hands gracefully positioned, holds immeasurable significance for us. Thank you to the nurses who familiarized themselves with our names and our daughter’s name before entering our room. Hearing our names spoken together made us feel like a family.”
The only solace mothers like Rachel find during their darkest hours is the acknowledgment and acceptance of their grief, allowing them the space and time to mourn.
“Thank you to the nurse who quietly slipped into my room on my first night without Dorothy, offering comfort through your shared experience of loss. Your presence helped alleviate the profound loneliness that accompanies such a loss. I often wonder if you were real or a figment of my imagination, sent to guide me through that lonely night. Lastly, I want to express my gratitude to the nurses who supported me throughout my pregnancy with Dorothy’s little sister. Even after Frances’s arrival, you never forgot that someone came before her, recognizing that Frances’s birth did not make me a first-time mother, but a mother of two.”
Rachel signed off her letter, “Gratefully, The One You Brought Back.”